Perfect
by BellaJake0127
Summary: Miranda Lawson ran away from her egomaniac father at sixteen and joined Cerberus. Her life has been filled with many twists and turns but her life is going to take a drastic change when she encounters Nathan Shepard on an operating table.
1. Chapter 1

I hope you all enjoy this new project I have started working on. I think Miranda deserves to have her story told

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Prologue

Running, running, running, so fast like the superhero The Flash. Lungs are burning, heart is pounding it feels as if it is going to rip through the chest. Right leg feels as if a knife has been stuck in it. Warm blood oozes out of the wound onto the blue jeans. That's right, the leg has been shot. An infant screams with each stride. The heat of the Outback is boundless. Hair is drenched and trickles with sweat. The sounds of motor vehicles have dissipated. Mouth waters for thirst, if only to have a nice cold glass of ice tea. A dingo howl is heard in the distance. Panic begins to form, they can smell the blood. Right hand grips the pistol tightly. The infant is now whimpering.

_I can't take it!_

I fall to my knees and hit the rough soil. I fall onto my back and almost seem to be hyperventilating from the run and the excruciating pain in my leg. _I'm going to die out here. I'm going to bloody die out here. She's going to die out here. That's not happening!_ Legs are shaky as I stand. I'm losing so much blood. Image is blurry but can make out a truck coming toward us. Little one is beginning to cry again in the sling, tied around my shoulders. I aim my pistol straight ahead, ready to kill the driver if I have to. Hand is shaking as it grips the pistol. I've already killed several men today what's one more. Biotics begin to manifest in my left hand. I can imagine the bullet hitting the man's skull. The truck stops, out steps a man of about forty years of age and looks to be a miner.

"Sheila you alright?" He asks in his thick Australian accent.

"I've been shot." And I collapse once again.

"Holy Snapping Duck Shit! Let me help you." He picks me up and notices the small infant.

He lifts us both slowly and walks very slowly to the truck and places me in the passenger seat. He hands me bottle of pop and I drink it quickly. The coldness of it hitting the back of my raw throat. He starts up the truck and begins to drive, going at high speeds when he sees the blood.

"Is that your rug rat?" He states looking at the baby.

"Yes" I lie.

"How old are you sheila?"

"I'm sixteen."

"Did your Ol'Man do that to you or your boyfriend?" He points to my wound.

"My Ol'Man."

"You want me to call the police?"

"No just get me away from here."

He nods to me and we continue the drive back to his mining village. We finally arrive and he shouts to the others to help him get me and the baby out. They carry me into the house and a doctor rips open my blue jeans and starts working on my wound. The miner's wife is taking care of the baby. The young doctor looks at me and pushes a strand of my dark hair behind my ear. He has fixed up leg and just looks into my blue eyes.

"I can help you find a home for the baby and I can help you get out of here." He looks reassuring to me.

"How can you do that?"

"I know who your father is, I know how he's treated you, and I work for someone who can get you out of this." He gets close to my ear and whispers, "I'm with Cerberus."

"You sure you won't take me back to my father?"

"I'm sure, Cerberus can use a girl like you. With your abilities you can do anything. What do you say?"

I look over at the baby being held and fed. I know she deserves a better life. She deserves the life I never had. She deserves to have a mother and father who will love her and not just be a dynasty. I look back at the young doctor. I figure this whole mining town must be associated with Cerberus. This explains why they are so near my father's estate since he is such a huge donor to the organization. What does she have to lose, if this organization can help her she can get away from her father once and for all and have plenty of protection from him. I have finally made my decision.

"I'm in." I reach out my hand and he shakes it.

"I'm glad to hear it, what is your name again?"

"Miranda…Miranda Lawson."

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9 Years later

Cronos Station

Buzzing sound is heard. A constant buzzing. _Why won't it stop, it must be three in the morning._ I feel movement next to me. The warmth leaving my left side as the body shifts. Hands fumbling in the dark when the buzzing sound finally stops.

"Hello" a groggy voice asks. "Yeah, why? Ok… I'll tell her. Talk to you later."

The body collapses back on the bed. He inches close to me and I feel his warm lips on my cheek. His hand runs up and down my bare back. He trails kisses down it and I roll over exposing my bare chest to him. I see his blonde hair hang in his face. I push it away to look deeply into his hazel eyes. He smirks and bends down and passionately kisses my lips.

"Danny is it time to wake up?"

"It's time for you to wake up." He leans on his arm and looks into my blue eyes.

"Why?"

"Because someone important has asked to see you."

"Bloody hell if it's Frankie he can wait in the morning."

"It's the Illusive Man."

"What!"

"I know, I thought the same thing. Just go to him and everything will be alright Miri."

I quickly get out of bed and grab some panties and a bra. I look for my Cerberus uniform and find it nicely hanging in the closet. I quickly put it on and zip up the standard jumpsuit. I grab my basic boots and put them on as I sit on the bed. Hands are placed on my shoulders and I feel a soft kiss on my cheek. I lean back and look into his eyes. I have been with Cerberus for nine years. They found a safe place for my sister, she lives a normal life with a normal family. Cerberus helped continue my education and I work in the science division working on and learning everything. I had been on quite a few combat missions, that's where I met Danny was on one of those missions. He is a Cerberus agent and a damn good one. He and I have been together for a year and he is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I kiss his lips softly and get up from the bed.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful as always. Good luck meeting the Illusive Man. I don't know anyone who has ever personally met him."

"I'm so nervous." I brush out my long dark hair.

"You'll be fine. Now go and show the Illusive Man what a good member of Cerberus you are."

I kiss him and walk out the door of my quarters. I have never met the Illusive Man, he rarely has anyone meet him. Reasons for this swim through my head as to why he wants to meet me, and why he wants to meet me at three in the morning. I hope my father has not found Oriana that might explain him calling me to his office. If my father has taken Oriana he will pay. He will pay dearly. I walk through the station and see the night crews working diligently. I walk to the lift and take it to the top floor. My heart pounds, not near as fast as the escape from my father, my palms are sweaty and they are slightly shaking as well. The doors of the lift open and I take the first step out like in slow-motion. I pick up the pace and walk right to the door. My hand slowly raises to knock but the door opens. I see before me a vast room surrounded by windows. A desk with all these computer panels and a view of the Sun that the station is orbiting, a man sits in a chair, the light of his cigarette illuminating the room.

"Come in Miss Lawson." His soft voice commands.

My steps are like that of a snail as I walk in. My pulse is racing and I see the chair swerve so I get a full view of him. He looks middle aged and it appears he is blind for he has cybernetic eyes that glow a cool blue. He rises from the seat as I finally reach him.

"May I call you Miranda?"

"Yes sir." I nod meekly.

"I would like you to see something. Come here."

He leads me to a computer monitor and offers me a spare chair. He brings it from the other side of the room and motions for me to sit. I take my seat and watch as he brings his chair over to me. He takes the seat next to me.

"Something big has happened to humanity. We have witnessed the birth of a hero, our Achilles." He clicks on the monitor and a newscaster from back on Earth begins.

"Yesterday an assault was made on the colony world of Elysium by Batarian pirates and warlords. The Alliance was able to defeat the Batarian forces thanks in particular to who everyone in the Alliance is talking about. Twenty-two year old Navy officer, Lt. Nathan Shepard. Lt. Shepard single-handedly held off enemy forces during the attack which has come to be known as the Skyllian Blitz when defenses were breached. There is even talk of him receiving one of the greatest honors in the Alliance Navy the Star of Terra. Here's what the young officer had to say."

The screen shows a young navy officer in Alliance dress blues. He has short brown hair, brown eyes, clean-shaven. He doesn't look like what a hero would look like; he just looks like a regular man. I just look at those brown eyes, those brown eyes that have now seen the true horror of battle. My focus comes back when I hear his voice.

"I saw the defenses break and I knew I had to do something or a lot of those civilians were not going to make it. I stood my ground and followed my training. Thankfully we didn't lose that many men and women and the colony was saved."

The Illusive man freezes the frame. The voice I heard was not what I expected either of a great war hero. He didn't seem cocky at all. He almost seemed to hate all of this attention. Maybe he is just a soldier doing his job and feels as if he doesn't deserve this attention. I finally look over at the Illusive Man after my mind wanders on this young lieutenant.

"This Lt. Shepard is something humanity needs. He is humble, courageous, smart, and one hell of a soldier. He is what I want Cerberus to stand for, to be like this young man here. He is got a lot of potential and who knows we might be able to recruit him someday. However, right now I need an agent who is highly intelligent, courageous, is a great shot, an excellent biotic, and very sure of herself. What do you say Miranda, how would you like to be another one of humanity's heroes?"

"I would be honored to be one of your agents. I believe in everything Cerberus stands for and I am proud to serve."

"I am very glad to hear that. I knew you had potential when you were just that sixteen year old girl when you first came to that organization. You will make a name for yourself in Cerberus and for humanity."

I look back the screen at the image of the young Alliance lieutenant. There is something about him. I feel that he has a bigger role to play for humanity as do I.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it has taken so long for a new chapter, graduating from college and the holidays has taken over most of my time. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Keep the reviews coming, I love your feedback!

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Chapter 1

_The coldness of the flesh. It's colour is grey. Eyes stare into nothingness. The hazel eyes have no light in them. Body is filled with impact shots from a projectile weapon. Dried blood covers the many wounds. My hand envelops the icy hand and my warm lips touch the grey lips. Tears drip down my cheeks and sobs being to take over. My hand strokes his blonde, sandy hair. Tears drip all over his expressionless face. I collapse on top of him not caring if any of the dry blood sticks to my lab coat. My arms wrap around the unmoving body. I lay my head on his chest and hear no heart beat and his chest no longer rises and falls. My life is spinning downward. The sobs fill the room and begin to echo through the halls. I feel a warm hand on my back. _

"_Miranda." _

_I get up and look at who is behind me and see the Illusive Man standing before me. He is dressed in dress pants and a white dress shirt. He wears no tie and he looks as if he hasn't slept in days. He opens up his arms and I embrace him. Burying my face in his chest and my sobs grow louder. His hand pats my back lightly. _

"_Shhhh. I'm so sorry." _

"_Who…Who…who did this?" I stutter in between sobs. _

"_It was the Alliance. He was on a mission and killed by a team of Alliance soldiers. They will pay for what they did to Danny and the others." _

"_I hope they do pay." My voice is bitter._

"_They will, now come with me Miranda. Crying over the dead will not bring them back. We must prepare Danny's funeral." He leads me out. _

_I turn and take one more look at the body of my lost lover. I walk over to him and close his eyelids. I kiss his lips one last time and follow the Illusive Man out. I will never love like that again. _

My eyes open and everything is blurry. I rub them and notice I have fallen asleep at my desk again. I get up and stretch in my white uniform. I sit down real quick and put back on my knee high black boots. I walk over to table before me and there lays a man. His eyes are closed. He is covered in cuts. He wears a breathing mask and I hear the heart monitor. I walk right up to him and sit next to him. This man was once the savior of the Citadel and now here he lies near death. In fact he was dead but I have revived him to now in a coma and severe damage. My mind remembers how Danny looked on a table like this all those years ago. We had been together three years and actually thought of marriage and then he was taken from me. However I am sort of in the relationship now but I am not in love with the man. Just companionship and sex is between us. But here lying before me is the famed Commander Shepard. Left for dead by his beloved Alliance. He has no idea who I am, he has never seen me before. But I have seen him. I have tracked his progress since he was a young lieutenant in the Skyllian Blitz. I know he has potential for greatness and that he will be remembered throughout the ages.

I have read quite a bit about him since he has been in my care. He was born on a ship, his parents are both in the Alliance. He was in a romantic relationship with Chief Ashley Williams. He had to leave behind his good friend Kaidan Alenko on Virmire. He had saved the Council on the attack of the Citadel. He even went back to rescue his helmsmen Joker which resulted in his death. I even know what his favorite dessert is; pecan pie. Yet I don't really know what he is truly like. Like what type of humor does he like or if he a serious individual or likes to joke a lot. Perhaps I will know that with more research. My eyes glance at his heart monitor and watch as his heart beats ever so slowly. It's almost as if time has slowed as I watch his heartbeat. Slowly getting up from my seat, my cold hand touches his forehead and pushes back the hair that has grown. It has been so many years since I saw Danny lying on a table like this. But instead of all this funding to bring him back from the dead, he was buried back on Earth where his family lived.

I turn around and leave the room and motion to a nurse to keep an eye on our patient. My heels make a click every time they hit the floor. I notice a window and walk right up to it. The vastness of space is great and sometimes I wish I could just get lost in it and forget about all the pain that is in my soul. I just need to forget about the past, I need to just focus on my project now. I don't need emotions or love. I walk away from the window feeling determined and perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is another chapter for you all. Thank you for all the faves and reviews, keep them coming!

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Chapter 2

1 year later

I have been working with Wilson. We are going over some paperwork and monitoring our patient. He is functioning well and no longer needs a breathing apparatus. I worry most about his heart seeing how his blood pressure is still not normal. He is also still in a coma and will not be ready to be brought out of his coma any time soon. I look up and notice Wilson looking over Shepard's vital signs. He's constantly checking the vitals. I go back to my report to the Illusive Man. We have been working on this project for a year now and Commander Shepard still isn't awake and who knows when the Reapers will show up, it could even be tomorrow. I sigh and just look at my report.

"Ah Miranda?"

"What is it Wilson?" I ask coldly.

"I think he's waking up."

I quickly get up from my desk and his eyes are beginning to flutter open. I see the color of his irises, the nice shade of brown. I quickly push Wilson out of the way to check is his vitals. His vitals are off the charts.

"Hurry get him a sedative, his heart can't take this yet."

"I'm trying, his brain activity is going off the charts!"

"Let me see that."

I grab the sedative and slowly push away Commander Shepard's arm. There is fear in his eyes and confusion, he has no idea what is going on. It must seem like just a few seconds ago he was on the Normandy during its destruction. I insert the sedative and his eyes begin to calm down. I hear his heart beat goes back to normal.

"Heart rate is steading, blood pressure back to normal."

"If it wasn't for me." I mutter to myself.

I look back down at his face and see his eyes beginning to flutter close but just before they close he smiles at me. I push back his hair and touch his forehead. His forehead feels nice and cool just the way he should. I give Wilson a dirty look and summon the nurse to monitor the Commander. I leave the room and wonder why Wilson keeps screwing up. If I hadn't been there Shepard would have suffered cardiac arrest. This project is worth billions of dollars but not just that but the salvation of humanity. Shepard is the key to that and Wilson the stupid idoit keeps fucking up. Sometimes I just wish I could fire him but the Illusive Man says he is needed in this project. I don't know why that fuck up is needed but I guess he is needed. I keep walking to my quarters when I see my head of security Jacob Taylor walking up beside me.

"Miranda." He nods to me.

"Jacob." I smile over at him and he smirks over at me.

We just keep walking in silence. I see my quarters and I stop and he stops as well. I open the door and he follows me in. He closes it behind me. I feel his hands on my hips. I lean back into him and feel his strong arms begin to wrap around me. He lays his chin on my shoulder.

"How was your day?"

"Commander Shepard was conscious for a bit."

"He was?" He turns me around and I can see some excitement in his eyes.

"For only about 5 minutes we had to put him back into a coma because his heart can't handle being awake yet."

"That's still amazing progress. You have done such a good job on this project."

"It's still not enough, Shepard is still not able to remain conscious." I walk away and sit on the sofa in my quarters.

He watches me and sits down on the sofa with me. He leans back and lets out a big sigh. I look up into his dark eyes and are reminded of Shepard's eyes staring up at me. They were a lighter brown then Jacob's but there is was fear in them, confusion. Not knowing who I was at all. In fact he had never seen me before. I have seen him, many times, watched his career bring him the title of Savior of the Citadel. Yet there he was lying on an operating table looking up at me not knowing who I was. Everything familiar was gone. I go back to the present and see Jacob pushing a strand of my hair behind me ear.

"You're too hard on yourself. You're not perfect."

"But I am perfect."

Jacob looks away from me . "Miri, listen to me please and try to digest these words. You may be a special case when it comes to humans but none of us are perfect no matter how much money our fathers spent on us. Perfection is a very diluted word because everyone has their own definition of perfection. Take it a little easier on yourself. I do not mean that you shouldn't strive to be perfect in every way. I just mean don't kill yourself if things don't work perfectly for you every time. I hate it when you are sad. You should never have to be." Jacob concluded with a slight smile on the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you, Jacob. I will think about what you said. For now can we just cuddle now though? I want to feel your warmth." I ask turning on the old television show Doctor Who on.

"Gladly Miri." Jacob said dutifully.

I lay into him soaking up his warmth. I look away from the projection which showed Matt Smith as the Doctor eating fish fingers and custard to look at the man reclining next to me. I feel like I have something to say but nothing will come out. It was as if I want him there but yet I also don't. It was almost like I want a man, just not Jacob. I sigh and give him a kiss on the cheek turning my head back the projection, my mind slowly shutting down and eyes drooping.

_A figure stood looking over the shoulder of his pilot in the cockpit. There was a shuddering of the vessel as both men looked to the port side portholes. I turn to look and see a huge Collector ship bearing down on them. The man ahead of me turns and I see the face of Commander Shepard looking worried. He ran right through me to go see about some controls in the engine room. I seem to naturally just follow him. For a while longer Shepard just ran around the ship. His last action was getting Joker into the escape pod. Then there was a large bang and Shepard was thrown from the ship. I am suddenly looking at Shepard's face as he drifts through space struggling to repair his cut oxygen line. He looks right at me. I see the same look of pain, confusion, and despair._

I jerk awake with the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. I am laying on the bed now and Jacob is gone. I look over the clock seeing that I have been asleep for a few hours. Walking over to the bathroom, I wipe my eyes and forehead clearing the sweet and sleep from them. I turn on the shower and proceed to remove my standard battle suit. As the suit hits the floor I check the water temperature and adjust it. I wait standing in my red lace bra and panties. As the water reaches the right temperature I remove the rest of the clothing stepping into the relaxing water. I lean my head against the shower wall closing my eyes trying to clear my mind of Shepard's pained face, sitting down on the floor letting the water wash off the stress. As my eyes close again I doze off my mind not leaving Shepard.

"Oh hell." I mutter turning off the water.

I get up and dry myself off. I notice my figure in the mirror. My body is toned, curves accented, and eyes piercing with intelligence. I wonder what Shepard would think of me? I drift back to the bed wearing one of Danny's old boxers and a loose t-shirt. As I relax in bed, eyes shutting one last time, my mind keeps one picture in full view… Shepard.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the new chapter. Hope you all have a wonderful Valentines Day.

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Chapter 3

1 year Later

I hear voices outside the door along with gunfire. I crouch right near the door. My heart is racing, waiting for the door to open. Hoping it is the traitor who is the first through the door. I hear Jacob's voice. Jacob is oblivious to what is going on. If only I could communicate with him. Warn him but I can't it would also alert the traitor. I hear the voice of Shepard as well. His voice has deepened with age from that interview I watched all those years ago. My hand grips my pistol. The door opens and there stand Wilson, I stand to greet him, my eyes are filled with anger and his with fear.

"Miranda I…"

"Thought I was dead. I think not." I pull the trigger and hits him right in the heart.

His body falls to the ground and I look up at Shepard and Jacob's surprised looks. I holster my pistol and I step over the body.

"Why did you shoot Wilson?" Jacob asks.

"He was the traitor and the Illusive Man would have wanted him dead." My voice is very confident.

"You could have asked him questions as to why he did it." Shepard speaks up.

My eyes look over at him. He wears his new N7 armor and he stands tall. He still has facial scars from the surgery. His brown eyes look right into my blue. He has a look of distrust in his face. Why should he distrust me? I rebuilt him, I gave him life where the Alliance left him for dead. I spent two years of my life rebuilding him, I never gave up. How dare he distrust me!

"There was no point. He was guilty. Now there is only one shuttle here. Do you want to stay here with mechs or come with us?" My eyes narrow at him.

"I know who you work for, I don't trust Cerberus, and you're just a bunch of terrorists." He crosses his arms.

"Fine then stay here. Come on Jacob." I start to walk away from the stubborn commander.

I look back and he follows us. He seems to be having a conflict within himself to follow the dogmatic structure of the Alliance or to follow us "terrorists" as he calls us. We are not the bad guys. We help humanity move forward unlike the Alliance that cowers to everyone and follows like a beaten dog. We get into the shuttle and Jacob sits in the pilot's seat. He sets in into autopilot and sits in the back with us. We are all silent for a while. I look over at Shepard who has been looking at me. He sits forward and begins to say something.

"You were there when I woke up one time."

"Yes I was." I nod to him.

"I recognize you by your eyes. They were a beautiful sight. I thought I was dreaming since the last thing I had remembered was suffocating in space."

"Well you are here now, after two years of work you are back to you were just minutes before the Normandy's destruction." I state looking out the window.

"I can't believe it has been two years. What happened to Ashley Williams? He asks looking at both me and Jacob.

"Last I heard she's still in the Alliance. We don't know anything else. If you ask the Illusive Man he will probably know more." Jacob answers him.

"I don't trust your Illusive Man." He grumbles.

"If you want to find Ashley Williams and stop the Reapers you are going to have to trust him." I state annoyed with him.

"All right, I'll play your game for now but if I find out you are committing crimes against the Alliance I will not stick around." He sits back in his seat and looks out the window.

We sit in silence the rest of the ride. Part of me wishes I had been able to install a control chip in him, he would be easier to control and he would follow the Illusive Man' instructions perfectly. Instead we have an obstinate man whose only goal is to follow the codes of the stupid Alliance. How I wish I could show him all the harm that the Alliance has done on humanity. Why didn't the Illusive Man let me put the control chip in him? Our mission would be successful instead I have a feeling that Shepard will not cooperate. If he doesn't cooperate what will we do? Human colonies are vanishing, how soon before Earth is the target. I can't let that happen, humanity needs Shepard. We need Shepard. I just hope the Illusive Man can convince him that we are not the bad guys. That unlike the Alliance we don't hide from the truth but wish to stop the inevitable. I put my trust in the Illusive Man. He will convince Shepard to join us.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the new chapter, hope you all enjoy it! Keep the reviews coming.

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Chapter 4

Normandy SR2

I sat at my desk filling out a report about our mission to Omega to find the Salarian scientist Mordin Solis. In the back of my mind I was hoping we would also come across the ominous Archangel that I had heard much about. My hatch opened and I look up to see Shepard standing in the hatchway. He looks round my office and his eyes peer into my bedroom.

"So this is your room?"

"And my office." I correct.

"Right…so…"

"So what?"

"So what do you do here besides spy on me?" He asks crossing his arms.

"I don't just spy on you. I serve as your XO on the ship that means I do all those duties as well as file reports to Cerberus." I roll my eyes at him.

"You mean to the Illusive Man." He states and leans against the wall.

"Yes." I answer coldly. "Now I really need to get back to my work Shepard."

"I have a name." He retorts.

"Your name is Shepard isn't it?"

"What I mean is, since this isn't an Alliance vessel I want to be referred to by my name. My name is Nate." He looks down at the deck and rubs the nape of his neck.

"Is Nate short for Nathan?" I look up at him.

"Yes… it is." Nate replied cordially.

"I like that name… Alright, Nate it is then." I said giving a little half smile

"Well since you're busy I won't trouble you further." He began to walk out but I interrupted.

"You know, after I'm done and once we're through with business on Omega I think it would be beneficial for us to talk."

"Agreed, I'll talk to you later Miranda." He exits the office.

I usually like to be alone but his presence was nice even if he was being a bit annoying and obstinate. Despite his moody disposition I actually enjoyed talking to him. I could see where he was coming from, being tired of the formalities and all. I haven't really enjoyed being around anyone since Danny other than Jacob. Jacob and I haven't really spent alone time either in about a year even though they were on the same ship. I'm used to being alone… no, I like being alone but now I feel as if I want to be around Shepard…or should I say Nathan or even just Nate. Maybe I feel a connection to him since I'm the one who brought him back to life. I never gave up on him no matter how many setbacks we had in the project. Most of my time for the past two years has been spent with him. Even if he was lying unconscious on an operating table he was the one I was around and kept my utmost attention on. That's most likely why I feel so comfortable around him… after all, he's all I've known for the past two years.

I got up from my desk and look out the window, watching the stars zip by as we sailed through space. I haven't been back to Earth since I was sixteen. Sometimes I miss the smell of the sea, the feel of the sun on my skin. Bloody hell… I even miss Australia. What I would give to go back for just one day and sit on a beach back in the land down under. Maybe when this mission is over, I will go back to Australia. I walked over to my bed where I kicked off my boots and reclined on my rack. I smiled to myself think maybe even Shepard could accompany me to my home country.


	6. Chapter 6

Another chapter, hope you all enjoy this one!

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Chapter 5

Normandy SR2

The mission on Omega had been a success. They have the professor Mordin Solus as well as the vigilante Archangel who Shepard had worked with before on the mission to take down Saren. I hear Garrus and Shepard goofing off in the mess. Don't they know that some of us on this ship are trying to relax? Finally I had enough and exit my room to see what they kept going on about. I walk out and see the two of them, they have bottles of beer lined up and they are taking shots at the bottles.

"What in bloody hell are you doing!"

"Target practice, Lawson." Shepard states with a grin.

"Shooting up the Normandy mess is your idea of target practice."

"Relax, we are professionals here. There is no damage whatsoever to the ship just the bottles." Garrus adds.

Shepard laughs and Garrus joins in on the laughter. I just put my hands on my hips and look sternly at the two men. They are still laughing as I just stand there looking at the two of them. I finally moved forward and snatched the pistol from the hands of Shepard. He looks at me surprised, Garrus abruptly stops laughing. I just stare into Shepard's brown eyes and he looks into my blue. His eyes narrow.

"Commander meet me in my office, we need to talk."

"Agreed." He follows me in my office.

I look at him as he takes a seat at my desk. I sit across from him and he just looks at me, with a slight smirk on his face. I ignore him and look very serious at him.

"Are you drunk?" I ask him.

"No not all…well maybe a little." He burps.

I just shake my head and look at him. This guy is clearly not what I had in my mind when I thought of the legendary Commander Shepard. He's just a man, a typical human male in the military. Where is that great paragon hero that I have read and studied all about? He just sits there with a smile on his face.

"You know your behavior is not what I would call good for the commander of this vessel."

"And yours is?" He asks leaning forward.

"Yes, I am clearly being the adult here and your acting like a freshman on his first spring break."

"At least I know how to loosen up and not be a bitch."

"A bitch?"

"Yeah, you've been bitchy to me since I first woke up. All I hear from you is you chastising me for how I run MY ship." He gets up and points his finger at me.

"Maybe it's because you are not responsible at all. I mean look at you, you're bloody drunk." I get up from my seat and stand right in front of him. My hands fly back onto my hips.

"I'm responsible! I got my team through the ordeal with Saren. I stopped the Reapers from an early invasion and I'm going to defeat the Collectors." He slams his fist on my desk.

I step back and he just looks at me. His eyes full of confusion. He takes one step forward and we are just inches apart. I can smell the beer on his breath. He just looks at me. I feel myself getting slightly uncomfortable but he leans forward and his lips touch mine. I don't fight at first but I haven't been kissed like this in so long…since Danny. I come back to my senses and I pull away he looks at me bewildered and my hand slaps him right across the left side of his face.

"Get out!"

He stumbles out and I lock the door. My hands just rest on the door. My fingers touch my lips and I can remember his lips pressed to mine. I shake the feeling from my mind, he was drunk and being a complete asshole.

"_He will never be like Danny. Danny was the only man for me. This man is just my Commander, the one who is going to help us defeat the Reapers nothing more. Nothing more…but he can bloody kiss. Miranda will you stop thinking about that damn kiss. He was drunk. Then why do I like to remember the feel of his lips on mine?" _She argued with herself. My heart was beating madly, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I slowly walk away from the door and just sit on my bed. This is going to be a long mission and an even longer one to get to know what Nathan Shepard is really like.


	7. Chapter 7

Apologizes for taking so long on this chapter. My life has been very busy including becoming an aunt for the first time. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 6

Normandy SR2

I had not spoken to Shepard since that night. We have both been avoiding each other since that night and just going about our business on ship. However, I know had to deal with him since he called me to the conference room for a mission debrief after finding the convict Jack. I exit the elevator and look around the CIC. Kelly nods and smiles at me and I smile back. My heels of my boots click as I wake across the hard floor. I walk into the room and there he stands his back to me. I can see every muscle through his white N7 shirt. I look across and I see a clearly unexpected sight. A short woman, a little over five feet and a few years younger than I. Her head is shaved and her whole body is covered in tattoos. Only a leather strap covers her petite breasts. She glares at me and suddenly I feel as If I have entered an ice cave.

"Who's the cheerleader?" The woman asks.

"This is Miranda Lawson my XO." Shepard replies finally turning to face me.

His brown eyes look into my blue and I remember them looking at me before like that night. The night he kissed me. I still hadn't been able to shake that feeling even if he was being an ass.

"She Cerberus?" the woman asks.

"Yes I am and you must be Jack." I extend my hand.

"Don't touch me your Cerberus Cheerleader. Now where are those files?" She snarls at me and looks at Shepard.

"What files?" Miranda asks.

"Miranda will let you access them." Shepard states ignoring her question.

"Did you hear that Cheerleader; me, you and every embarrassing secret that Cerberus has tried to hide." Jack grins showing her teeth.

"Hand her the access code." Shepard states his arms crossed.

I hand over the code to Jack who takes it from me and walks right out the door without a word. Shepard begins to follow but I stop him placing my hand on his back. I feel his muscles and he quickly turns to look at me.

"Yes Miss Lawson."

"Are you insane?"

He tilts his head and then chuckles looking at me. He then walks around me still leaving me with no answer as he continues to laugh.

"Why do you ask?"

"You just gave a crazy woman access to Cerberus records." I cross my arms.

"Look it was the only way to get her to join our cause. She didn't want money or anything just access to Cerberus' files."

"You should have consulted me first before just giving access to a raving mad woman." I state my voice is firm.

"I'm in charge here. I don't need your input." He glares at me.

"This is a Cerberus mission and I am the highest ranking Cerberus operative so you better consult with me for future issues."

"Are you always this bitchy?" He asks rolling his eyes as he starts to walk away.

I stop him again and he turns to look at me. He is clearly irritated with me but I am just as irritated with him. He never listens to me, never asks for my opinion on this operation. He just does. He is so arrogant! His brown eyes look into my blue. Sometimes I just want to punch him and take over this mission. I should be the one in charge not him. I finally answer his question.

"I am only bitchy when I see you not following Cerberus regulations."

"Well I'm not Cerberus."

"This is a Cerberus ship and Cerberus rebuilt you."

He looks around the room; I can see fury in his eyes. He bites his lip and looks back at me. His eyes are beginning to water.

"I wish you hadn't rebuilt me."

With that he storms out of the room.

I turn back around and rest my hands on the table. My greatest work, the greatest soldier in the galaxy just told me he would rather be dead than working for Cerberus, rather than saving the galaxy from the Reaper threat. I have to get through to him. I have to get him to help me, to be able to work alongside each other. So this mission can be a success and we can defeat these Collectors and drive them back to the depths of the Omega IV relay. Next shore leave I must spend some time with him. Even if he is a complete ass, I have to work with him and we must get along for the sake of this mission.


	8. Chapter 8

Another chapter up, I hope you all enjoy this one.

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Chapter 7

Citadel

I stand in a black dress, red lipstick, black pumps. I take a sip of my apple martini. Another human male is eyeing me, he will most likely attempt to ask me out which I will decline for about the twentieth time of the night. I wait for Shepard. He actually accepted my proposal of having a fun night on the town. I'm a bit nervous, Shepard and I have not been getting along since the very beginning and I would absolutely despise having another fight with him. My eyes roam over to the entrance of the club and I see him enter in. He wears blue jeans, and a black leather jacket. I can see he spiked his hair a bit with gel and he must have just shaved because his face is clean shaven. I wave him over and he smiles and walk right up to me.

"You look nice Miss Lawson."

"You clean up nicely Commander." I smirk and take another sip of my martini.

I watch him as he orders a beer. He takes the bottle in his hand and drinks down his beer.

"You're a beer man huh?" I ask him.

"Always have been and always will be." He takes another drink of his beer. "I want to apologize for being an ass to you Miranda. It's just...I lost two years of my life...two goddamn years."

"It must be hard." I answer back.

"Do you know that Ashley Williams hasn't even contacted me, not even attempted. I know the goddamn Alliance knows I'm alive, I spoke to Anderson. Yet she can't even contact to me." He takes another drink.

I sip my martini and we stand in silence for some time. He watches the people dancing, his eyes tracing every step this one couple makes. I put down my martini and touch his arm and begin to pull him along.

"What?" He asks.

"Come on and dance with me."

"I don't dance well." He protests.

"Come on Shepard." I drag him along.

We enter the dance floor. I begin to sway my hips and he dances beside me. I try not to laugh but he really has no dance moves. He smiles at me knowing that he can't dance. He twirls me around and I move my body closer to his. His brown eyes watch my hips sway to the music. He then imitates my way of moving my hips and I laugh at him as he gives me this goofy grin. He's actually really fun to be around. He's always full of a joke and he actually makes me laugh. I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time. I enjoy listening to his hearty laugh as well. I can see perspiration on his forehead and I can feel myself sweating as well so we walk back over to the bar. He looks at me and I can tell by his facial expression that he is pondering something.

"What?"

"Come with me, let me show you something cool." He reaches out for my hand.

I take his hand and feel his coarse skin. We exit the bar and he leads me down the steps toward a taxi station. He grabs a taxi and I take a seat in the passenger's side. We zoom above through the wards of the Citadel. The city lights flashing past us. I look over at him, his eyes have a sparkle to them and he has a smile.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"You'll see." Is all he says with a wink.

I see us entering the presidium, the heart of the Citadel. It just looks simply wonderful. He parks the taxi on top of one of the many arches surrounding the lake. He gets out and I follow. We stand together looking out at the Presidium. I just look at the stars and think I have not seen them this beautiful since I was a teenager back in Australia. I take off my heels and just look out, leaning against the car. He takes off his leather jacket, showing off his muscles in his while N7 shirt. He leans up against the car with me.

"Beautiful isn't it."

"Yes, I haven't seen the stars so bright in a long time."

He looks down at the lake below us. I can see the mischief in his eyes. I wonder what he is thinking. He looks back at me.

"Want to go for a swim?"

"Are you crazy, we would get arrested."

"No we won't. I'm a Spectre. Come on Miranda, have a little fun." He grins at me.

I haven't done anything like this since Danny. It has been so long since I've actually done something wild and crazy and just plain fun. I nod to him and he grins. He takes off his shoes and socks. Practically rips off his shirt. Takes his belt off, xips down his blue jeans and pulls them off. He stands in his navy blue boxer briefs. Throwing his arms up in the air, letting the breeze hit his body.

"I am King of this motherfucking galaxy! No Reaper can tell me otherwise!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

I undo the zipper to my dress and slip out of it, standing in my black lace panties and bra. I stand on the edge just like he is and raise my arms up. Feeling the wind on my face, my hair being blown back. I feel as free as a bird flying through the blue skies back in my native home of Australia. He looks over at me. Takes a few steps back then goes on a sprint a jumps off the arch. I watch as he does a perfect dive into the lake below. My eyes scan the water waiting to catch a glimpse of him surface. I see his head breach the surface and breathe a sigh of relief.

"Shepard are you all right?" I call out.

"I'm fine, the water feels great, and call me Nate. Come on down!" He yells up.

I stand at the edge if the arch. My toes slightly hanging off feeling the cold breeze. My knees bend and I take a jump and plunge into the pool. My heart rate accelerates and I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Impact, the coldness of the water touches my skin. Warm hands touch my body and lift me up to the surface. I open my eyes and there looking back at me are brown eyes, a smile and a faux hawk all messed up by the water. His arms are around me and the feel so...like a puzzle piece they are meant to be there. He looks up at the stars and the stars are twinkling so bright.

"When I was a boy. We took a vacation back to Earth, to California where my father was from. We stayed at my grandparents vineyard in Napa Valley. I remember going for midnight swims in the pool and looking up at the stars. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

I look at him and his eyes look back at me. I can feel myself trembling and with that his lips touch mine.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry this chapter is so short I promise my next one will be longer! Enjoy and please review

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Chapter 8

Citadel

His lips touch mine and it feels as if fireworks have gone off in my mind. Our lips continue to crash together, his hands run through my wet hair. My desire grows, as if hot embers. He moans in the kiss and begins to swim toward the banks of the lake. I feel my back hot the bank wall, his kisses trailing down my neck. His hands lower from my hair and cup my breasts, a moan escapes my lips and he smiles a wicked smile at me. He lifts me up and carries me up onto the bank. He lays me down on it and hovers over me placing kisses all over my neck and collarbone. His hand reaches down to my hips and he runs his finger under the waistband of my black lace panties. My heart skips a beat as I feel him peeling them off of me. He places them gently off to the side and pulls down his boxer briefs revealing his erect member.

I know I shouldn't be doing this...but its been so long...and he looks so good, the pleasure he could give me. He looks at me, waiting for me to consent. His eyes are filled with desire, he rubs my arms and waits for me to give him an answer, either yes...or no. Such conflict in my mind. He and I had hardly been getting along since the mission started and here we are now getting ready to fuck. I swallow hard and he looks at me, and then looks down at his manhood.

"Is it smaller than you expected?" He finally speaks his voice hoarse.

"What?...No, of course not. It's just been a while." I clear my throat.

"Yeah me too." He answers. "Do you want to? You know..." He looks down again at his manhood.

"Should we?"

"I want to." He bends down and lightly kisses my cheek.

My legs invite him and just in a matter of minutes I feel pressure on my walls. My hands rests on his shoulders. This position I am in feels so natural, like I'm meant to be joined with him like a puzzle piece. He buries his head in my shoulder, his groans growing louder with each thrust. I've never felt pleasure like this, it's overwhelming... feels like I'm in ecstasy. My moans join with his. He moves his head, and captures my lips with his. He thrusts faster and faster. Moans and groans grow louder. If only this could last forever...

"Miranda!"

* * *

My vision clears and I stand on the arch on the presidium, my toes hanging off the edge. I haven't had a fantasy about a man in so long. My stomach feels as if I have butterflies. I look back down to see Nathan Shepard waving down to me.

"Come on the water's great!"

"Are you sure about this?" I call down to him.

"Miranda you are no fun. I'm getting out go pick me up in the taxi." He starts swimming to the banks.

I quickly put my dress back on and grab his clothes. I get in the taxi and meet him on the banks of the lake. He gets in in, dripping water all over the place. He smirks at me and shakes his head getting water all over me. I giggle and drive us back to the Normandy docking bay. He gets out and puts on his blue jeans and his white t-shirt. He holds out his arm and I take his hand as he walks me back to the Normandy.

"Enjoy your evening?" I ask him.

"Yes I did even if you were a party pooper." He grins at me.

"Well I didn't want to get arrested."

"You're right..." He wraps his arm around me and points to his ship. "A marvelous night Miss Lawson."

This was the first night I had fun in a long time and a night where I became physically attracted to Nathan Shepard.


	10. Chapter 10

Here is the next chapter, hope you all enjoy it and please review. I love all your feedback!

* * *

Chapter 9

Normandy SR2

I am pacing in the cockpit. We have not had any contact with Shepard and his team since they touched down on Horizon. He took with him then new krogan called Grunt and Garrus with him. Two heavy hitters but I am still worried. We can't establish contact with them, too much interference from the collector swarms.

"Are you sure Mordin your countermeasure worked?" I turn to him.

"I am one hundred percent positive that it worked." Mordin states with confidence.

"I bloody hope you're right." I mutter going back to pacing.

If this mission fails...if Commander Shepard is captured by the Collectors. All hope for humanity is lost. My heart is racing waiting for any sound from any of the three men on the surface. I look out the cockpit window and down to the surface of planet. Finally we hear static and a voice break through.

"Normandy can you hear me?"

I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear Shepard's voice.

"We read you Shepard." Joker replies to him.

"I need EDI's help enabling these defense turrets." His voice is filled with static.

I continue pacing not even listening to the conversation. We have to save this colony. Everything depends on it. What seems like hours is only minutes.

"Defense towers are operational." I hear EDI's voice.

"Hell yeah!" Is Shepard's reply.

There is silence on the radio for awhile. I wonder to myself what is going on down there. I start to walk out of the cockpit through the CIC and the lift. I enter it and rub my eyes. It has been a long day. The lift opens and I step out into the cargo bay there the shuttle has docked an out steps Grunt and Garrus.

"How is he?" I ask Garrus.

"Not good, I'd advise you not speak to him until he cools off." Garrus answers.

"What happened?" I ask.

Stepping out is Commander Nathan Shepard. His face is covered in sweat and grime. His eyes have a fire to them and he looks at me as if I was a Reaper. He brushes past me and I follow him as he starts taking his gear off.

"Nate...what happened?" I ask.

"We only saved half of the colony." He mutters.

"But we saved half of it that is incredible news."

"Not its not!" His eyes flash with anger.

He slams his fist on the table and throws his helmet across the room. He tosses his gloves and boots on the table and practically rips off his torso armor. He stands in his military issue black shorts, black tank top, and black socks. He walks out leaving his armor. I watch as Garrus pick up his helmet armor and Grunt follows suit picking up Shepard's weapons and walking out with Garrus.

"Garrus what in bloody hell happened down there?" I ask

"Ashley Williams was done there." He states to me stopping at the lift motioning for Grunt to go in.

"Is she?"

"Dead... no not at all. Let's just say the reunion was not heartfelt."

"I see."

"She accused him of being a traitor and all... I honestly didn't think she'd be like that. I mean I knew Ash back when we took down Saren. Then again it has been two years."

"Why was she there?" I ask him.

"Alliance sent her there. They thought Cerberus was involved with the missing colonies."

"Collectors come to this colony where Ashley Williams, who was once one of Shepard's team, is stationed. That cannot be a coincidence." I push a stand of hair behind my ear.

"No it can't be. Maybe you should talk to your Illusive Man." Garrus opens the lift and steps in leaving me to my thoughts.

Could the Illusive Man have used this colony as bait? How could he? Innocent lives were at stake, innocent human lives. He must have had another reason. There is no way he would do that to humans, turians maybe, but a human colony that would never happen. The lift finally comes back and I get on and go to my office. I step into my office and take a seat at my desk. I look up the file we have on Ashley Williams. Rereading the file, I come across something very important to Nathan Shepard. Was In a Relationship with Nathan Shepard during the incident with Saren and the Geth. In A Relationship. How could I have forgotten that? He was or possibly still is in love with her. And she called him a traitor. A traitor! How could she even say such a thin after what all he has done for the Alliance. I sit back in my chair and just stare at the screen, the file of Ashley Williams. My mind roams from Shepard to my sister, my baby sister. I hadn't seen her since I rescued her all those years ago. She must be what 18...19, God so much has happened. I wonder how much she looks like me. I do miss her, I wonder what she is like? Does she have my personality? Is she into science like am I? Is she attracted to over temper-mental, pain in the ass, alliance navy officers? Just as that thought came into my thought there is a knock at my door.

"Come in."

In walks Nathan Shepard. His hair is wet so his faux hawk isn't styled. He smells of men's aftershave. He wears grey sweatpants and a navy blue alliance t-shirt. He is barefoot and just stares at me. His gaze makes me feel uncomfortable. The door closes behind him and it's just me and this hulking figure staring at me.

"I'm sorry." He utters his brown eyes looking worried.

"It's fine Nate. I understand."

"You do?" He looks at me surprised.

"Yes I know you were in a relationship with Ashley Williams."

"Of course you would know." Annoyance in his voice.

There is silence between us and I look back at my computer and close the file on Ashley Williams. I open a new file a start the report on the Illusive Man. I hear his footsteps as he walks around standing right behind me.

"I don't love her?"

"What?" I turn my chair around and look up at him.

"I don't love her. I never did. She was comfortable in a time that I needed someone to lean on."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just something to clarify in your report to the Illusive Man." He adds and hurries out of my office without even a "I should go" that he usually gives me.

I just sit there in my seat and try to compute what just happened. The only thing I came up with is there is more to understanding Commander Shepard then memorizing his life story.


	11. Chapter 11

New Chapter is up

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Chapter 10

Normandy SR2

I sit at a table in the mess drinking my fruit drink that is very common back in Australia. I love the taste of strawberry/kiwi. It must be around two in the morning. I can't sleep. I'm worried about my sister. One of my contacts found out that my father is looking for her and he is close to finding her. I have to stop him, but I need help. Should I ask Nate for help? I doubt he would help me, he hasn't spoken to me since our mission on Horizon which was three days ago. He's been a bit of a recluse since that and has only spoken to Kelly. Which is a good thing because she is a counselor. I take another sip of my drink and lay my head down on the table. I close my eyes and hear footsteps. They are not the sound of boots but bare feet walking across the hard floor. I hear a chair pulled out and someone sits down.

"Miss Lawson are you awake?"

"Yes I am Commander." I raise my head up and look into his blue eyes.

"What are you doing up this late?" He asks me with a tilt of his head.

"I couldn't sleep."

We just sit in silence for awhile and I drink up my fruit drink and he just has a notepad, he looks to be drawing something. I look closer and see that he doing a sketch of Joker at the helm. It looks really good and I watch as he doing the touches to his hat.

"That's very good." I remark.

"Uh...thanks, I've always done sketching."

"Well you're a good artist."

"Thanks, why couldn't you sleep?"

I look at him and ponder his question. Should I tell him what is really bothering me. Tell him about my little sister and my egomaniac of a father. No, don't tell him about my little sister too much information about my personal life. Tell him she is your twin sister, after all she is my genetic twin. But should I ask him for help? I mean most of the time he is a real jackass yet I have seen a soft side so maybe I should ask him for help.

"It's about my sister."

"I didn't know you have a sister?" He asks with concern in his voice.

"Yes my twin sister. She is being hunted down by my father. My father is a businessman back on Earth and he is obsessed with his dynasty. He artificially created my sister and I and tried to groom us to take over his dynasty. We rebelled because he is a completely egomaniacal

man. I have to help my sister."

"Is there any way I can help?"

"Come with me to Illium and help me get my sister away from that bastard." I lean in and look him directly in the eye.

"I will help you." He answers me.

"Thank you Commander." I get up and walk away from the table.

I walk toward my office and the door closes behind me. I have to get to Illium and save her. She's my little sister and I will not have her separated from her family by my father.

* * *

Illium

"God damn it! Why would they mention Niket's name?"

"Miranda...I don't think Niket is on the right side." Shepard answers me.

"No that can't be. He is my longest and dearest friend...he would...he would never betray me."

My heart feels as if it is breaking. I am so stressed. My father cannot have my sister. He can't! Niket couldn't betray me? Why would he? After all this time, he would have done it years ago.

"Did he know about your sister, Oriana?"

"I just told him that a few weeks ago why?"

"How old is your sister?" He asks me with a skeptical look on his face.

"She's my twin, genetically. I rescued her when she was baby."

"So you're telling me we are trying to rescue a goddamn kid!" He looks at me with pure annoyance.

"She's not a child she's nearly nineteen." I stop him as he walks toward the elevator.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" He asks me with irritation in his voice.

"I don't know...I just...I was afraid for my sister."

"We'll talk about it later." He opens the elevator door and we step in.

The elevator ride is quiet. He won't even look at me, just keeps staring at the doors waiting for them to open. My heart is racing hoping we get there in time. Niket wouldn't betray me, he can't. The doors finally open and we step out and there pointing guns at us are eclipse mercenaries, including one extremely tough Asari one. I see Niket standing there with them.

"Niket?" I look at him and pain fills my soul.

"Miri I.."

"Why Niket?" I point my pistol at him, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. "Why did I do this? You are oldest and most dearest friend!"

"Look I could have accepted you just running away from your father but you kidnapped a baby!" He answers back.

"I rescued her from that life and gave her a new family!" I yell back at him anger is in my voice.

"From a life of wealth...I grew up poor Miri, it's not a better life."

"How much did he pay you?" Shepard's voice breaks through the argument.

"A lot." He admits.

"Damnit Niket! You were the only one I had left from that time, but I guess now you're a loose end." I point my pistol at his head. "I'm sorry but this has to be...goodbye."

I get ready to pull the trigger when I feel a strong hand on my arm lower it. I look over and there is Shepard his brown eyes looking sternly at me, his grip is firm and lowers the weapon.

"You will regret this."

"I have to do this Shepard, he is the only loose end."

"Wait Miri, I can tell your father that you got here before me...that I don't know where you hid her." Niket pleads, worry in his face.

"I never want to see you again!"

"Done." States the Asari and I hear a shot and Niket falls dead.


	12. Chapter 12

Here is the next chapter, this is a bit of a fun chapter. Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Chapter 11

Normandy SR2

I go through some of my old things. I feel bad about what happened to Niket but I also don't. He deserved to die after trying to get my sister back with my fucked up father. He wanted to ruin her life all for money. How could he be so selfish...how could he betray me. All those years of friendship. Then that damn Asari bitch killed him, right in front of me. I lashed out with all my anger and snapped her neck with my biotics. I just need to clear my head thus I'm going through some of my personal effects and disposing of anything that reminds me of Niket. I find an image of Danny and I buried in my personal belongings I pause and look at his sweet face. I miss him so much at times. As I stare at him, I remember all the plans we had together. Marriage, children, building a home in Australia. We never got to have that life. Instead here I am...alone. I hear a knock at my door, and put down the picture on my desk.

"Come in."

In walks Nathan Shepard. He wears batman pajama pants along with a matching batman t-shirt. In his hand he carries a batman comic and he smiles at me and takes a seat on my desk. He has excitement in his eyes.

"Look what I found on Illium, the newest comic of Batman. He is right now protecting Gotham from Blue Suns mercenaries. In this issue he took down one of the top lieutenants." He points to me an image of Batman fighting the Blue Suns.

"I didn't know you liked comics?"

"I love them...Batman is my favorite as you can see." He points to his attire.

"I see." I go back to my work.

"See the Blue Suns have come to Gotham City and are the leaders of this whole human trafficking ring that are being sent to Batarian slavers. Batman in this issue helps with unraveling this whole ring and stops the one head lieutenant."

"Is Batman still Bruce Wayne?" I ask.

"Of course he is, who else would he be, no one is batman but Bruce Wayne, well technically Dick Grayson did wear the cowl back in the either the late 20th century or was it the beginning in the 21st. Ah...shit...I can't remember. Also Jean-Paul Valley wore it too but he also went a bit psycho too."

I smile as I see how excited he is talking about a mythical superhero. I shake my head listening to him going on and on about Bruce Wayne. I go back to my work and continue to listen to him as he talks. Nodding my head to reassure him that I am indeed listening to him.

I watch as his eyes roam from looking at me to my desk. His eyes stop at the image of Danny and I. He picks up the picture and looks at it intently. His eyes scan it and points to Danny.

"Who is he?" He asks me.

"He was my boyfriend. Taken from me long ago." I answer taking away the photo from him and putting it back into my desk.

"I'm sorry." He answers.

"Don't worry that was a long time ago." I look up at him and smile and go back to work.

He sits there in silence and watches me work. He grabs a strand of my loose hair and places it behind my ear. I look up at him and his brown eyes look deeply into mine. He inches closer to me and our lips touch, it begins as soft as a feather. Our lips move together. My heart races and I love the taste of his lips. He pulls away, our foreheads touch, resting on one another. I can hear him breathing, I wonder if he is just as aroused as I am that by that one kiss. He inhales sharply and begins to speak.

"I'm glad we got your sister to safety." He whispers to me.

"Me too, she deserves a normal life. Thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome." He leans in a bit closer.

"Why did you kiss me?" I ask, my voice chokes.

"Because I'm falling for you." He leans in again and our lips touch once more.

His lips on mine feel like they are meant to be there. His hands cups my face as he deepens the kiss. My hand reaches up to his neck and gently touches it. Our kiss breaks and our foreheads touch once more. I breathe in deeply and I hear him swallow hard.

"We can't Nate...our mission is too important."

"Miranda...I can't hide what I'm feeling. I know you feel it too...so let me in." He answers in a whisper.

I can smell his aftershave, his brown eyes look so amazing, I could get lost in them. I have not felt this way about any man but Danny. Yet Nate Shepard is driving me crazy. I want to be with him. I enjoy spending time with him, he helped me rescue my sister but...I don't know. I don't...we don't have time for romantic entanglements.

"Nate...I'm going to have to think about this."

"All right." He backs away and I already miss his scent.

He gets up off my desk, picking back up his beloved Batman comic. He begins to walk toward the door when something inside my gut tells me that you need to stop him.

"Wait." I get up from my desk and walk over to him.

My hand reaches out and gently rubs his left cheek, feeling the smoothness of his recent shave. His hand reaches out and rests on my shoulder. I smile at him and he smiles back at me.

"Why don't you read to me your comic."

"You mean it?" He asks excitement in his eyes.

"Yes, it's been a very long time since I've read a comic."

"Sweet! You are going to love this, this issue was so good." He walks into my room and takes a seat on one of my sofas.

I sit next to him and listen to him as he reads to me, Batman versus the Blue Suns. This night is the beginning of my relationship with Nate.


	13. Chapter 13

This chapter is really going to show the human side of Miranda. Enjoy and please review!

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Chapter 12

Normandy SR2

We had made contact with the mysterious Asari justicar and I must admit she is quite unique. I had spent quite a bit of time talking to her, learning about her code and about how becoming a justicar is similar to a man or woman vowing to become a priest or nun in the Catholic church back on Earth. Nate and I had spent a good three hours discussing with her, her life as a justicar. Samara will be a valuable addition to the crew. Later we received a contact from a Turian ship saying they had damaged a Collector vessel. It was a trap. The Collectors were still on board and we almost had another blown up Normandy. Nate says the Illusive Man set us up but I know he didn't. He would never jeopardize the mission. He knew we would defeat them and get out of their before they charged their weapons. Nate may doubt him but I don't, he has been there for me for many years and has been the father figure I always wanted.

Here I am now, outside his door to his cabin, carrying some popcorn. He has invited me to watch The Dark Knight trilogy from the early 21st century. Every night Nate reads to be an issue of his Batman comics. I have been enjoying it, especially seeing how excited he gets. I knock on the door and it opens with him in grey N7 sweatpants and his favorite Batman shirt.

"Hey come on in." He smiles at me.

I enter in and see a projector and his special white screen hanging by his bed. He also has a bowl filled with m&m's on the coffee table. I sit down on the sofa and he sits down next to me with popcorn in hand.

"Just to let you know I haven't watched these movies in years."

"I have never seen them." I remark.

"Really? Never?" He looks at me with a shocked expression.

"No...honestly the only superhero comic I read was Superman."

"Well Miri, I am glad I can educate you." He puts his arm around me and grins.

I kiss his cheek and rests my head on his shoulder as he starts the first vid. He smells so nice, of aftershave. I feel so comfortable when I'm around him. I haven't felt this way around anyone except Danny. It feels so good to be able to snuggle up to a man as he has his arm wrapped around me. I snuggle up to him a bit more and he smiles at me and kisses the top of my head. I look over at him as he watches intently his vid while occasionally grabbing a handful of popcorn. There was so much about Nate that I didn't know, like he kept a lot of his personal likes and views to himself. I wonder if he read Batman comics to Ashley Williams. He says he never loved her but he will never talk about her at all. I I shake the idea of Ashley Williams from my mind and focus on the movie, seeing the out of date special effects, I chuckle to myself thinking that at one time this was the state of the art technology back then. My mind wanders a bit and then thinks of intimacy, it has been a while, when was it last...I know it was with Jacob but it must be over a year ago, maybe close to two. I know I shouldn't be thinking about it, I mean sex isn't everything and I've been without for a while now. Yet I wonder what sex would be like with Nate.

I focus back to the film and watch as he grabs another handful of popcorn. I reach out and grab some m&m's and pop one in my mouth. He smirks and reaches out and tries to grab some of them from me. I pull my hand away quickly. He tries to grab my hand but I squirm away from him.

"Come on give me some m&m's."

"There's a whole bowl full of them." I say to him trying to get up.

"But I want yours." He chuckles.

He grabs me and pushes me back on the sofa with him. He starts to tickle my stomach and I just start giggling all over. When was the last time I laughed this hard? I try to free myself from his grasp, but his strong arms have me pinned. He then lifts up my white tank top and gives me a raspberry right on my stomach.

"Stop it, I can't stop laughing!" I am able to squeak out between giggles.

He stops and leans in close to me, "I love to hear you laugh." He whispers in my ear.

I lean in and give him a soft kiss on his lips. He smiles at me, his brown eyes looking into mine. His strong arms wrapped around me. I feel so comfortable in his embrace. I watch as his focus shifts back to the film. His eyes fixated on the hero in black. I realize why he likes Batman so much, maybe he sees himself in it. Not that I'm saying he is a masked vigilante but that one side of him is the brave and strong Commander Shepard. while there is Nate the geeky everyday man. Just like Batman has two sides Nate has them as well. I'm seeing the true side. The true man beneath the rough exterior. My hand reaches out and strokes his smooth cheek. He looks over at me and kisses my forehead.

"You know thanks for watching this with me."

"I like spending time with you." I lean my head on his shoulder and watch the film with him.

Is this love? I think to myself. Or is this crazy hormones wanting to get laid? I haven't been in love for so many years. Can this be the feeling? This warm giddy feeling inside and I just want to smile around him. In Cerberus they used to call me the Ice Queen, well I believe the ice is finally melting around me heart.


	14. Chapter 14

I'm sorry this chapter is really short :( I have had the most horrible pain due to my wisdom tooth finally coming in and it is coming in fine! Yay! Next chapter will be longer but just wanted to give you all a little something. Enjoy!

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Chapter 13

Normandy SR2

I stand in the cargo hold as the shuttle door opens. I first see Thane walk out. He nods to me and I nod back to him. Next comes out Samara. She nods to me as well and walks toward the elevator and then comes Nate with his quarian friend Tali'Zorah. He smiles at me and I smile back. I'd really like to run up to him and give him a kiss but I have to remember professionalism. I may feel like a lovestruck teenager on the inside but I have to act like a Cerberus operative.

"Miss Lawson."

"Commander." I acknowledge him.

"This is Tali, but I think you do remember her."

"Welcome to the Normandy Tali." I reach out my hand.

She doesn't take it and just looks at me, her glowing eyes staring right into my soul. She walks past me and heads to the lift not even looking at me. I look back to Nate who shruggs and takes of his gloves,

"What was that about?" I ask him.

"Don't mind her, she'll come around. She doesn't trust Cerberus."

"Another lovely crew member who hates Cerberus." I mutter.

"She doesn't hate Cerberus. She's not like Jack." He answers me walking with me to the lift.

"I see." I enter the lift and he follows me in.

I look over at him and his brown eyes look straight ahead to the door. He looks very serious and I can tell something is on his mind but he isn't sharing it. He is a very private person and there are things about him that I still do not know. The lift door opens and I step out the deck where my officer is.

"I'll see you in a bit." He tells me just as the lift doors close.

I smile and walk toward my office. I sit at my desk and view the message from the Illusive Man. He knows where we can receive a Reaper IFF to go through the Omega IV Relay. They have a dormant Reaper in space that was destroyed many millennia ago. A Cerberus team was sent there to investigate and set up a science lab but we have lost contact with them. How could we lose contact? I have heard of indoctrination. However, if it is indeed destroyed then there should be no indoctrination. Something about this feels wrong...feels...I don't know...I don't like losing contact with our whole science team. I grab a tea from my mini fridge and take a sip of it. I hear my door open. I am expecting Nate but instead come face to face with Jack.

"Jack... I wasn't expecting you?"

"You weren't huh cheerleader? Just like you weren't expecting me to find out the truth you fucking bitch!" She lashes out at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I get up from my seat.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! That facility on where they kept me...you knew all about it!" Jack steps closer to me.

"I didn't know about it Jack and it was clearly a mistake...the whole damned thing was a mistake."

"Are you saying I am a mistake?"

"As a matter of fact I am. You are an experiment gone wrong!"

"Shut the fuck up Cheerleader! I am not a fucking mistake!" She lifts up a chair with her biotics.

"Get the bloody hell out of my office!"

"Fuck you!" I step out of the way of the flying chair.

The door to my office opens and in steps Nate looking clearly irritated.

"What the hell is going on?"


	15. Chapter 15

New chapter is up, sorry for the length I just couldn't think of anything else to add to this chapter.

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Chapter 14

Normandy SR2 - My Office

I just look at him. He looks so irritated at both of us. He shakes his head and folds his arms. I haven't seen him look this irritated since the mission on Horizon.

"What the hell are you two thinking! We are on a mission of the utmost importance. We don't have time for petty arguments. If we don't work together this mission will fail and I'm sure as hell not going to let this mission be a failure. So get over your tiff and save it for after the mission." He looks at both of us.

"I can do that, can you?" I ask Jack.

"Yeah...until the mission is over."

"Are you two good?" He asks.

Jack nods and leaves. He turns his gaze to me and shakes his head. He walks into my bedroom and sits on the sofa. I follow him and sit down next to him. He puts his arm around me. We just sit in silence as he rubs my shoulder. I lean in and rest my head on his shoulder. The smell of aftershave still on his cheeks. The room is quiet the only thing you can hear is the hum of the Normandy's engines. He sighs and rests his head on top of mine. It feels so peaceful as if the calm before the storm. I know, he knows about the derelict reaper. The Illusive Man would have told him when he met with him just a few minutes ago. He hasn't said a word about it. Just sits with me, ever gently rubbing my shoulder.

"I have a question?" He finally utters.

"Nate you can ask me anything." My hand rests on his.

"Do you mind if I do some sketching?"

"No I don't mind." I look up at him.

He grabs a loose piece of paper and one of my pencil and just begins sketching. I watch him as I see shapes come to life and I see before my eyes as he draws a Reaper, just floating in space. I have often seen him doodle when I'm with him. It helps with the stress of the mission. He continues to sketch and I see the finished project, a Reaper just drifting in Space and the Normandy coming up on it. And in a dialogue bubble it reads, "Are you fucking kidding me Commander?"

"Joker is so going to say that when I tell him this mission." Nate looks at me.

"I know it sounds crazy but it's the only way to get a Reaper IFF."

He kisses the top of my head again and lightly rubs my shoulder.

"I know but it does sound crazy." He grins at me.

"I know you don't like this but trust the Illusive Man."

He gives me this weird expression, his eyebrow raised and shakes his head. I sigh and look to the window watching the stars fly by. I look back to Nate.

"Trust me okay."

He kisses me lightly on the lips and looks back out the window. He seems to be deep in thought. Something seems to be making him uneasy. I mean I don't know if the Illusive Man told him about the missing Cerberus scientist team. If he does know that then I know why he is uneasy. I often wonder what he does think about. He looks back at me.

"Have you read about indoctrination?"

"I have heard about it. I read your report to the Alliance about how Saren was indoctrinated by Sovereign."

"It was very disturbing to see firsthand especially Liara's mother. If this Reaper isn't completely dead...there could be the threat of indoctrination. That's what has me worried what if I or one of my team begins to show the signs of Indoctrination while on board. I don't want to see myself like that." He looks back toward the window.

"You are strong willed, you will not fall to indoctrination."

"How do you know that." He looks at me, his brown eyes look of despair.

"Because I rebuilt you. I spent two years learning everything about you. And one thing I learned is your strong, you never give up, and if there is one person who can resist indoctrination it is you Nate." I kiss his cheek lightly.

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" He looks into my eyes.

"What can I say...I like you." I smirk at him.

"Well Miss Lawson you have indeed bolstered my confidence." He grins at me.

He wraps his arm around me again and we just enjoy this quiet moment before the very challenging mission.


End file.
